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Episode Recap

5 Qualities a Kingdom-Minded Single Man is Looking for in a Single Woman (Single AF Series) – with John Sims

If there’s one question single women who are looking for a serious relationship are asking, it’s “Where are all the good, single men?” Today, my guest, John Sims, shares with us five qualities a kingdom-minded single man is looking for in a single woman. But first, he talked about his epiphany of why he was rejecting women early in his relationships. It has to do with his own sense of abandonment and rejection. This revelation is going to set some of you single folks free today.

John then debunked the myth that women get emotionally attached faster than men. He told us that men actually get emotionally attached just as quickly, but don’t always show it. Speaking of some of his own heartbreaks, John said he believes that emotional pain is actually more detrimental than physical pain, because while the body heals itself naturally, we need help healing from emotional pain. I really agree with him there. He then reminded us that the best romantic relationships begin with the best friendships and encourages singles to focus on building a solid friendship before jumping into a romantic relationship.

What Single Men are Looking for in a Single Woman

Now, for the main course of this podcast, John laid out five qualities single men are looking for in a single woman. Here they are:

She should be exclusive but not impossible to connect with

She should be available but not desperate

She should be an asset not a liability

She should know how to present herself well

She should be humble yet confident

Should you single ladies feel his qualities are “doing the most,” don’t worry, I believe these are qualities most of you already exude. And if there’s something on this list that troubles you, consider asking yourself why you’re bothered before dismissing his suggestions.

John is a leader in his church, and you’ll hear him talk about the single lifestyle through a biblical lens. He correlates Ruth and Esther in a way I’ve never heard talked about from a single man. I thought that was good stuff! You’ll find this gold around the 19:05 mark. He then talked about how single women who are looking for single men need to “update your browser settings.” He said you’re looking for new qualities using old filters. That was dope.

How to Not Have Sex as a Single Person

Listen, I know it’s rough out here in these streets. I know many Christian single men and women want to honor God and remain celibate or chaste (and not have sex) until you’re married. I also know the majority of you are struggling with this. John has been chaste for 10 years. Ten.Years. #YouCanDoItJesusCanHelp. He quotes his bishop as saying, “The reason some of you keep falling out of the bed is because you’re sleeping too close to the edge.” #micdrop. All of this talking about boundaries and making wise decisions was prefaced by John’s explanation of how we are three-part beings and, therefore, he wants to connect with a single woman in three ways: spiritually, intellectually/emotionally, and physically.

So, ladies and gents, the next time you find yourself settling for 1 of the 3 or 2 of the 3, don’t. If you want to be married, there are good single men out there! After you’ve prayed and listened to this podcast episode a few times, update your browser settings and look again.

Praying for you.

Resources: Connect with John Sims on Instagram at @johnjaysims.

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